Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize