You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
