its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
