11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
