there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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