Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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