the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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