And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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