belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
no, he came in my armpit
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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