Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
