I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
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I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
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Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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