3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
