you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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