You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
