what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
