What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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