Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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