well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
