When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
