she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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