One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
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