i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
