It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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