He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
