can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
