tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Life is so much better after having sex.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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