omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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