I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
