oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
