shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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