Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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