It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
