so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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