If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
