I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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