I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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