Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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