it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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