Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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