I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
