I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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