I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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