I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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