dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
