id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
