and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
