so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
