My liver just broke up with me...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
