So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
