we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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