I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
