Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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