i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize