I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
