i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She's the barista slut.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
