Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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