I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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