I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
