He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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