piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
