is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
