Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
