operation have a gay friend backfired
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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