Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am available for nakedness
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
