May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
