so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
