We won't sleep together?
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
