piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
