His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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