I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
